My life is not my own!

My life is not my own!

A quote I often find myself wondering if I know what it means? Do I understand what HE meant when He told us to "Take up your cross daily, deny yourself and follow Me." I typically want to go down the easier, more convenient, more traveled road.....The path He has for us is seldom easy or everyone would be on it. Yet don't we find ourselves saying..."I could never do that; I do not have the patience, the ability,...." I know I often think I could never do ......whatever it is.....I seem to recall a Giant of the Bible saying the same thing...

"Please Lord I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since You have spoken to Your servant; for I am slow of speach and slow of tongue." The Lord said to him, "Who has made man's mouth? ....Is it not I the Lord?" Now then I, even I, will be with your mouth, and teach you what you are to say." Exodus 4:10-12

That is such a reminder that I have nothing to offer. It is arrogant to think I can do anything...."Apart from You I can do NOTHING!" And yet.... With Him we can do anything. I am not referring to fete's of strength. That if we say we can move a house we can, or if we believe hard enough we can have money, a better job, a child, family.....!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me..." refers not to, I can do or have anything I want! Too many people misintepret that verse and read it out of context. The context it was written in is that in all circumstances I am content. I can live with much I can live with nothing, because He gives me the strength to suffer through ALL things!

2 Cor 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. So I boast in my weakness so that the powere of Christ may dwell in me."

We have enjoyed 2 years of Casey attending Second Baptist School, a great Christian private and college prep school. We are pleased with all aspects of the school and really enjoyed our children being a part of it, it felt like a family. Casey is a great student and attending school we saw him blossom even more. We were so excited this year because Brayden had testing and was accepted so it is his first year for Kindergarten. He is so excited about learning and very pumped about going to Second.

Oh how the Lord changes OUR plans. We thought we had it lined up! When we discovered the cost this year for both of them even after our discount and financial aid we realized this was not the plan. We have some financial goals that we are working towards.....we payed our car off last year and this year we are paying off a 2nd mortgage. With this goal Private school did not fit in.

AMAZINGLY.....I was at peace upon the first realization. Last year would have been different. I had a newborn and a VERY 2 year old! But this year I felt....sensed... knew ....God was calling us to something different......

HOMESCHOOLING! A sacrifice of myself and an investment into my children. A time to look past only my comfort and desires and instead how do you want me to invest and impart in the children You have blessed me with before the time is lost.

I knew then He had been preparing me for this decision several months prior without me knowing. He had been impressing a need to spend more time with Casey, because he was gone so much with school. I can never get these days or minutes back! When do I have time to invest in him? How do I get to know my children when they are not here? With Casey at school from 7:30 - 3:20 when was there time for me. Our days went something like this.....

I clean laundry all day......, wash dishes all day....change diapers all day.....give give give all day.....I pick Casey up and most of "my good side" is gone, has been used up between 3 other needy kids! We get home I need to change another diaper get a couple of kids down for a nap....start dinner.......BEDTIME! WOW where did my day go? What did Casey get........my leftovers.....not my best! It seemed that everywhere I turned a speaker a sermon was talking to me. Giving investing in my children. Making the most of each moment because the days are long but the years are short. A day will come when I will LONG for someone to walk in on me in the bathroom!

Will I know my children when they are teenagers or will I lose them.....

Someone talked about the verse "Train up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it."

I had never heard this interpretation before,

They said, the way they should go is to KNOW them the bents GOd has given them (the same "know" which is used in Genesis and throughout the Bible to speak of intimacy between God and us. "He knows me intimately, He is aquainted with all my ways." Ps. 139 We have to know how God designed them to know how to direct and guide them.

So we decided that for a season God was calling us to bring our children home. I was excited about it in certain aspects. I was nervous about teaching but so excited about having my kids around, and being flexible. But also hoping it was a season....short term. Thinking they may be at Second the following year...

I tell you what....God knows what we need! He supernaturally just works and we don't see it until it hits us in the face.....We went to a friends house last week and she mentioned there was a used book sale if I wanted to check it out. I thought it would be a great time to explore my options for next year, but I did not go to purchase anything because after all I HAD NO IF IDEA what we would be doing . I was so overwhelmed at the thought of curriculum I just didn't think about it at all! I just felt that it would come soon enough I would check it out later. But at least that night I could get my feet wet!

Well here is how God works............here is my new passion, my new curriculum

Even last week I was still dreading teaching my kids....I was peaceful! But I had some fear. I wasn't sure I could do it! But when I saw this curriculum and looked through it I immediately fell in love with homeschooling. I have spent the last few days pouring over it and getting ready for next year.....I am SO excited I don't ever want to send my kids back to school. If He calls us back that direction we are open. But I am truly excited about this journey!

Isn't it like God to use such unlikely things or events to turn our hearts.....a HUGE curriculum book that looked VERY intimidating at first is now what makes me PASSIONATELY want to teach my boys!

Boy ..oh Boy... oh BOY

Well in a house of 4 boys we may need to take up residency in a hospital, or we need a Doc in the fam,.

So far Brayden has had stitches twice, he was climbing up the stairs to his bunk beds and fell backwards and split his head open at abouty 2 1/2; then he kicked a window out in his room, shattered the glass when he was about 3 because he was mad and tore his foot up; he was walking through our yard with a bunch of lumber and the only piece of wood with a nail up he found....IN HIS FOOT;

Kai has been to the Er for stitches once; And between the 2 of them we have had numerous black eyes, almost stitches.....and surprisingly no broken bones!

Last night we got home late from a b-day party, I was checking my email before I went to bed. Kai was waiting on me, and was standing on his riding train. I know disaster waiting to happen....

Then I hear it slip out from under him, and a THUD on the ground and screaming. I pick him up expecting to find his head split open since I found him on his back.

He is screaming and holding his mouth but all we see is blood dripping....what we find is a huge hole in his lip, it was pretty deep...I was pretty sure he needed a sticth or two. We figured out when he fell he must have hit his mouth on the chair that was next to him as he was falling on the floor then landed on his back. And his tooth must have gone through his lip!

Of course all he wanted was "Ice" he asks for that anytime he has an owie, and wantde to watch a movie...the cure that ails you right??? Although he did not get ice cream.

After we held ice on his lip and got it to stop bleeding we thought it was going to be okay it will heal on its own. It was already somewhat holding together so we chsoe not to go to the ER.

Here is the aftermath.........

To my Mother with Love!

Sorry this is a little after Mother's Day!

"Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates." Proverbs 31:31

My mom spent many hours, days and years devoting herself to me and my sister. She had a desire to raise us in the love of the Lord and see us walk with Him. That was what gave her the strength to teach and invest in us for over 20 years.

She home-schooled us yes..... but it was more than an academic education, she sacrificed her time and desires to invest in us daily, and she did not only impart knowledge. She laid the foundation to make sure we knew who we were....

Who did she tell us we are????? Daughters of a King, heirs to a royal inheritance, fearfully and wonderfully made in His image. Priceless, bought and redeemed with His blood, because of His unconditional love.

She also passed on a desire to be a wife and mother! My sister and I, from our earliest memory, desired to get married and have many children. At one time in my life I actually wanted 10 kids, 5 boys and 5 girls. She never discouraged us from that. There were never any negative comments that children are hard, and I would of course change my mind after I had a couple. She always said how wonderful that was. She really would have LOVED for us to have 10 kids....however I do not think I can deliver...pun sort of intended!!! Her joy and passion for motherhood was passed on to us as we saw her truly rejoice in each part of motherhood, highs and lows.

Because of that love for being a mother herself I am passionate about being a Mom as well. I thank you Mom for passing that on to me. Not every Mom gives their child a love for having children......but you did!!!! I love and admire you for that!!!!! We are the product of your hands and we praise you for your sacrifice!

My present to her this year was at her request, capturing timeless memories for her with my 4 boys! So here you go, I hope you enjoy!

The "Queen's" Day!

Well my thoughtful husband asked me on Friday if I wanted Mother's Day early or on Sunday....it really did not matter to me so we ate at the house, before we left, then walked the mall on Friday evening. They bought me some cool shades and I even managed to save my husband quite a bit of money...I found $10 glass'! I went through at least 5 pairs last summer....and I was not the one to break them...go figure! We are on a really tight budget right now, we are not spending any money....But come Sunday, after I worked 7-1 in the Nursery, as I do every Sunday, we were hanging out at the house, I am trying my best not to expect anything. You know...laying my expectations down! Letting my family off the hook! That is so hard! I didn't care about getting a gift, that is not my love language......what speaks to me? Quality time and Acts of Service! So time with my family and a "day off" from my tasks is what I really long for on that one day of the year! But I didn't want to say anything.....I kept quiet..... until I got hungry, so I politely asked my husband what he wanted to eat. He didn't have any idea.....SO I then asked if he wanted me to cook? So I thought it might be a good idea to give him an idea for next year..... "You know Honey, I love the time we had together on Friday. I had fun and I like my glasses....but I really just want a day off!" I knew what he was thinking...we are trying to save money! I made sure and let him off that hook, "Honey we don't have to eat out, if you do not want to spend money, I just do not want to cook tonight." He is so adorable!!! He looked through the kitchen for about 20 mintues, I heard the refrigerator open, then every cabinet we have. All of a sudden he left the room, and he came back in changed in "going out" clothes......(at home he wears basketball shorts and t-shirts) He came and knelt in front of me and said, "I cannot cook! I am sorry for not thinking about it sooner...let's go out!"

I thought it would be fun to go somewhere that the boys would love. There is a place not too far away, we have been there once before, it's called Clay's. The atmosphere is family friendly and it feels as though you are in the country. They have animals, horses, goats, peacocks.....There is a sand box and balls to throw and kick.

We had a blast!!! We ate fried food, drank soda, the "boys", including hubby, played football with another family.....I could not have asked for a better Mother's Day!!! I wouldn't have cared if we had taken our dinner, I just wanted time with my BOYS!!! (and a night off..)

Here is Tate playing in the sandbox, that was his first time! As you can see he ate some as well!

This is a GREAT example of Big brother (cautious) vs Little Brother (impulsive)

There was a drain open in the ground, one of those large cement drains. The boys were kicking the soccer ball and what do you know, they kicked it right in there. Great aim, way to go Son! Future soccer stars!

Casey, our 7 yr old, went and looked down the drain, he spent some time and put thought into his decision, he evaluated the situation and came to the conclusion that the risk might be too great for the benefit.

So Brayden came along, did he too evaluate whether the risk of what might be in the drain was worth the cost, to have the ball back? .... Nope!!! He didn't stop and evaluate the situation at all! Nor did he stop to think, "What is the best way to get in there and get the ball back?" He just went up to the drain, bent down, looked in there, and headed in...BACKWARDS!!! Of course I am LOVING it! What a photo op for the photographer. As Dad is trying to talk Brayden out to do it the "right" way...(or shall I say his way...hee hee) you know going with hands first I am saying no...no no, I love it! Let him go! As I keep shooting with my camera! As Dad is about to go through his reasoning for why he needs to do it "his" way, out comes the ball! Way to go Bray, we applaud your determination! We also applaud casey for his caution, it will work out in most circumstances!

Getting back out there.....

Friday we had so much fun at the splash pad...we had to go back with Daddy and Casey on Saturday. I wanted to show those to you because it isn't often I get to include Casey since he is in school when most of the "fun" stuff happens.

This is the car ride.....they don't look very excited....... Check out that bruise.......